I am Alan...

694 SIR

2008-05-08T16:12:00.002+08:00

And that's my reservist unit fyip...

It was pretty cool to be with some of the MRF pple again...

That includes Mahathir, Maizal, Borhan and Tiah... Will be part of the BCS team with Mahathir and Borhan. And because of the rank i hold, i will be M's 2nd in command, though i had already forgot everything i learnt. The BCS team is full of nice pple and yesterday night was pretty fun with $1 tiger beers and Chicken Wings to while the night away (though i slept early yesterday though)

Because of M's leadership (he's our senior medic btw), we had manage to successfully get out of any major troubles and an almost hassle free ICT. M's one of the best commander la, he knows what the men wants and what the commanders want and manage to align the interests of both even if both are entirely different... Best...

Nee Soon's refresher course is slack until cannot slack man, we had like 2 hours of canteen break and 2 hours of lunch break for a day's training. 3 hrs was devoted to lessons and it was pretty fun and i manage to learn the M-PAM and CPR once again... And IV also where me and tiah are now buddies (we were like always bickering in MRF back then =))

However, disappointingly, the MRF guys' fitness had dropped. After training under staff for too long, it was really a pity to see the once super fit guys failing their IPPT, which was once no sweat at all to them...

Looking foward to next year's ICT, though it's going to be f**kin siong... hhahahah... Time to get fit again...

HUA!

Very Very unlucky n Hokkien Post

2008-04-28T18:04:00.002+08:00

This must be the most farking suay day ever in my whole life as an Arsenal Fan….
Yes, I am being very very very vulgar here, but who can imagine my super duper super duper gross disappointment when Teck broke the DAMN disappointing news to me… Suay Kao Lai Sai…

Teck won an all expense paid trip to watch Arsenal v Everton this Sunday and you know what! He asked me if i am free to watch Arsenal with him!!!!

Hey it’s in LONDON ok… Not ur pub or kopitiam in tampinese
ITS IN THE EMIRATES STADIUM OK!

And you know what, I cant go because….

I am down for reservist on the next day….

What are the odds man… Damn suay la…

Wanted to be irrational and go AWOL, then I decided that is damn irrational… and Arsenal is not going to commemorate me for that if I really go AWOL… haha… Wanted to get MC on Monday, but which doctor will I be seeing? A London based doctor? In the end cannot lor and he got clement (the DAMN man utd fan) to go with him….

Really…

Pui Chao Nua…

Pui!!!

经一事，长一智

2008-04-23T23:20:00.002+08:00

Today at work was almost equivalent to a slap in the face when i call up the relevant party to explain something relating to (numbers aka censored). The result was perhaps anticipated but to hear it from the party himself was extremely painful and made me wonder if the team's efforts had gone down the drain over the past few months.

Obviously feeling damn sore over this matter though my SUP says it's ok as it's obviously not within our control.

Of course, fortunately, somebody came and gave me some sort of a counselling. Thank god for him. I've never realised that there exist someone who takes so much pride in the work he does and remains so passionate about it. I was very very passionate about economics as some of you out there had known it, and here i am talking to someone who is extremely passionate about the investigative work that he does and made me realise not everything is lost and finally not everything is perfect or rather everything is grey. i can really feel his passion just as somebody like Tse Peng or Darryl will have told me that i m mad abt economics...

Such pple are really precious and i hope they will be around to really help the place grow...

For the first few months, i had simply no idea as to what they are doing, but now, i seriously appreciate the role of these pple.

Updates

2008-04-22T17:59:00.004+08:00

Finally got a new flat in punggol and make my first cheesecake ever for miss tan's birthday during the past one week.

The steps to making the cheesecake doesn't look difficult from siew wah's recipe, but boy i actually spent like 3 hrs on it at the end of the day, which is pretty exhausting.

Met up with some of the remnant members of G League for soccer. Those were really the days which we must had train much harder than that of the professional soccer players. But of course, these days are gone, and my memories of G League and Ngee Ann are fast fading away.

What's the purpose of life?

To earn more and more $$, to accomplish something magnificent?

Or just to hold on to the pple that you cherish, the times that you cherish and the friendship that once existed but fast fading away as the years past by....

I certainly miss G League... and the 2E vs the Rest of The World... (things that keep coming up in our conversations whenever we met)

Too late, we had all grown up... although there are many more things to look forward to, the aspect of friends and g league can never be replaced, and looks unlikely to be replicated once again...

The Leap Years

2008-03-22T13:01:00.003+08:00

In a way, I will suppose this is one of the best local "English speaking" movies ever produced by a Singaporean production team.
Quite contrary to what some of the critics had said, I do not find the characters lacking the chemistry needed to pull the show through. In particular, the performances of Qi Yuwu as the devoted KS particularly stood out. Wong Li-Lin, the protagonist, Li-Ann in the show, put in a very worthy performance illustrating first a young gal who believes very much in the suspense of romance, is willing to wait for the right man to come along to one who is finally jaded and yet, at the very end, refused to believe that the moments of magic are finally behind her.

As for Ananda Everingham who starred as Jeremy, the charming and suave lover to Li-Ann in the show had probably very little chance to shine. Much of the plot had circulated around Li-Ann and the joys and troubles that she went through in her search for Jeremy that very little is being explored and told about Jeremy. In particular, why and how did Jeremy even fell in love with her in the very first place? But of course, this is not strange given the plot is almost unbelievable in reality in the very first place.

Finally, Joan Chen, as the Li-Ann in the late 40s also put in a wonderful performance. It’s rather unfortunate that very little screen time is devoted to her, as she showed her class in depicting a very different Li-Ann, someone who had encountered moments of magic in her life, and yet very very unwilling to stop believing that the next moment of miracle is never too far away. Somehow, the show had flowed in such a smooth manner and perhaps a realist in the theatre will probably laugh at how unrealistic the movie is.

One thing to note though, the use of English in this movie is very applicable, as without this language, the climax of the show will probably not be reached. The final moments before Li-Ann’s moment of magic were wondrously painted by the English medium. This is one scene, which if it was illustrated in Mandarin will probably not reached the climax which was intended.

The story is unbelievable, as the plot happened in the 4 leap days spanning the 4 leap years over a 16-year period. If weren’t for the leap years, perhaps everything would had been settled in 4 days, much to the delight of the Singaporean Government who had been trying to get young Singaporeans hitched…

Of course…

For those who believe in the magic of romance and fate, this is surely one show that you wouldn’t want to miss.
I am emotionally drained after the movie…

There is just one part of me who, sometimes, wishes to believe in the heart rather than the head.

Dogs Avoidance Tactics...

2008-03-17T21:57:00.003+08:00

This post is dedicated to all those who had

1. The experience of being chased by dogs
2. The experience of being attacked by dogs
3. Not been through either of the above AS YET.

It was business as usual from Chinatown back to sengkang. But of all strange happenings that could possibly happen to me, i was nearly being attacked by two wild medium sized dogs, on the stretch between upper serangoon road to sengkang east ave. At the very beginning, i tried to skirted around the two dogs by not running on the pavement but on the roads. Apparently that wasn't a very bright idea, as possibly they could sense the fear and trepidation in me.

The next thing i knew, they were already snarling and barking and me...

SIBEH SUAY...

Luckily, my quick thinking got me out of a potential xtra09 vs DOGS situation (which i will surely atand no chance). Sensing their fears of the roads and the cars just as they sensed my fear with regards to them, i made a quick quick dash across the other side of the road (with one eye on the traffic of course!)

Lord and behold... They wanted to try crossing the road, but luckily for me, they were hesistant and before i knew it, they decided not to, as they were really not as adept as me w.r.t. crossing the roads (Luckily for me, there were some cars on the roads) but instead kept barking at me...

That was indeed a close shave, and 2 lessons from this...

1. Will not be taking the stretch between upper serangoon road and sengkang east ave again...

2. The cars and the roads are your best friends in the event of dogs...

I may be over-reacting, but it was a close close shave, at least for me...

I must had set the world record for that stretch in the meantime...
=(

Heroes no more, welcome the legends...

2008-03-16T20:46:00.003+08:00

Made the trip to changkat on saturday...
It was a pretty long time since i set foot on the court at changkat on a saturday evening...

The sight of me playing basketball wasn't exactly a sight to behold, especially considering the fact that i haven't been really playing with quality opposition. Yesterday's games proved just that. Made a couple of shots, but surely wasn't really considered being a young hotshot/ sonny anymore. In fact the time where alan is really being treated as the past of Changkat is arriving...

On the whole, however, it was a good effort. The running had helped me in basketball and i was quite glad.

Kudos to wk tan... He managed to get the team in for the competition at such short notice. It was really disappointing on my side, i didn't manage to put in effort for the organising of the team. I have to make especially clear that i wasn't really interested in putting out a team at all though. Definitely, we will be thrashed, without a doubt. But all my salutes to him, he made it possible, something which i reckoned, is definitely not beyond me if i tried. BUT it just going to serve as a reminder to me as to how much one can achieve if one perservre.

Because xtra09's been found wanting for most of the time...really...
Because xtra09's never really tried... unless he's interested...

And it's a timely reminder for xtra09 to buck up, and to try...

Fundamental Shift...

2008-03-13T23:16:00.002+08:00

$$ is definitely not everything in life.

I am extremely glad that i have not reach a stage where $$ becomes the most important aspect of my life, and i will make a consious effort that i will not see $$ in such a manner anytime in the future. At a time where i am somewhat enjoying a higher than (what i perceived as an) average pay doesn't really make me yearn for even more, I suddenly realise that having how much $$ is really transient, as compared to what you really want to do to your life. I do not somewhat really crave for that extra $$ that will be going to my pocket.

NOTE that your life need not circulated around the budget constraint that you are facing. There are simply ways to work around it, or i believe.

It wasn't exactly the same, say when i was in JC or University. Although i thoroughly enjoy the economics discipline that i had chosen. There was no doubt that, at the back of my mind, i had the notion that the studying of economics will also enable me to earn a decent living, or perhaps a pay packet which is much more than decent. Studying the subject was fueled not only by interest, but also the fact that better results will equate to a better opportunity in the job market later on, which will translate to more $$!

Somewhere one year after leaving school, the mentality somewhat shifted. Seriously, i don't deny the fact that better results will equate to a better opportunity and subsequently a better pay in future, please do bear in mind that $$ is definitely not everything. At least for me, once i felt that i reach a certain threshold, anymore $$ no longer bring me as much satisfaction as compared to earning the very first dollar (otherewise known as the diminishing marginal utlity concept, just that for a lot of pple, $$ is the exception, as most can't get enuff of $$)

At the end of the day, i just feel that it's all a matter of adapting and adjustment. Just don't think of the luxuries and be contented with what you have. If you have more at the end of the day, just save more. If you have less, try to work within it. Do remember to also do the things that interest you, and don't forget to engage yourself in things that you really want to try, but gave it up because you think that you won't have the time to pursue, (because much of time had been spent wooing $$). Just try to follow your heart, rather than the head for once or twice.

Just try to listen to your heart. It, sometimes, is really easier...

After all, my parents started with a lower than average pay packet after all.

The man has spoken...

2008-03-03T21:55:00.003+08:00

1st! I've finally completed a run from chinatown to sengkang. Far it may sound, but at the end of the day it's only 15kilometres. It was an excellent run, as it brings me to places like dhobby ghaut, little india, boon keng, kovan and finally home. If my body permits, i will probably make it a weekly run on top of the training on friday. I suppose in no time, i will be shedding some kilos in return for the kilometres traded in. ;)

The man has spoken. Give urself a chance to rediscover the place. Give the place one more chance. I suppose it's going to stay this way. Although we seem to be shooting in the dark and apparently my guess is as good as anybody's, it seems that i have to endure for quite some time to ensure that i get something meaningful out of this place. Obviously, i respect this man whom i look up to as a mentor. I felt that if he's still around, i will have pick up more things than what i am doing now. Alas, one can only look forward now.

It's game over for punggol lodge, the remaining flats didn't meet our minimum criteria, and as one can only look forward, we will be extremely excited at the prospects of choosing a flat at the nearby damai grove, because of our improved balloting chances as compared to the previous one. Fingers crossed, this whole saga had somehow brought a number of stressful situations to the both of us. Well, i do have to admit, i have been fairly hysterical about the "flat thingy" these few days and brought miss tan undue stress.

Well, sometimes, i have to admit, it's really all my fault

...... and luckily Miss tan is able to take it, otherwise i will be screwed...

Back again...

2008-02-27T22:12:00.004+08:00

Long time no BLOG! haha...

Anyway, lots had changed ever since i last blogged on "I am Alan"

I am now a competition analyst, with a wonderful galfren, on the brink of into another phase of my life, still together wil some of my really very good frens and being happy when i need to feel happy. ;) Thanks to the basketball peeps and the mentoring peeps that i am still sane and sound.

Colleagues had been first class so far, but i guess it's just a matter of time before i encounter a complete change to new set of colleagues. Wish my relationship with some of my colleagues can be better, but it seems difficult, as people in the working world are much more guarded than i would have expected. Realised this, unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you see it) in my first week of work, BUT simply didn't buy that, because of an ex-colleague whom i am still in contact with. Further, people had been leaving every now and then, and the changes that the management made really demoralise the staff at times.

On the other hand, sometimes, i really wonder if competition is really the field for me. If it isn't, which one is? I believe the young analysts (including me) simply had not enough exprience and expertise as compared to economists from some of the other premier agencies. What's worse is that there isn't anybody experienced in competition economics guiding us and leading us through. Some may be found wanting in terms of imparting the practicalities in competition economics to us. That, i am sure. Until the day when i believe that competition is really for me and that i decide to do my masters to gain specialisation in this field, i probably can only hope for the best.

On the way to my first marathon, and i am really training for it this time round, also in a desperate attempt to actuall take the chance to shed some weight as well. ;) Do seriously hope that i can do it this time round without any serious concerns with regards to my ankle. So far, my ankle hadn't been able to actually last for more than 21km without hurting (which i attribute to my inadequate training). Hope i can make it this time round.

On to matters with miss tan, i eventually decided to propose last year and at this moment, we are on our way to a new phase of life, by applying for the flats in punggol, and start envisaging our plans for the future. In all seriousness, the future does look exciting, with stuff like flats, wedding, living together to ponder about. It won't be easy, and i reckon that there will probably be friction and the nittys grittys that we have to overcome as a couple. Though we are not astrologers who are able to look into the future, in all confidence, i believed that we are, and will be doing fine in the years to come.

Disappointed that i have not been able to really keep up with these peeps...
And that includes

Yang, Lee, Ah Beng, Toh, Ezen, Jack, Mr Chan Kai Hoe, the 7th cycle YCSS mentors, PJ, T Ping, the social workers, my sec sch bball mates and guys from the g league.

I miss certainly miss the happy days back in the G league... Undoubtedly, those were my happiest happiest days...

Ngee Ann simply ROX...

"We are still at the club, we are responsible for the club."

2007-08-27T11:06:00.000+08:00

This quote is from the vice captain of Arsenal Football Club, who, despite lamenting the loss of star striker, thierry henry, told his charges to keep their chins up.

Players leave, but the club remains, seems to be the message behind.

After some turbulent moments, the scenario in my company seems to be a worse off mirror of Arsenal Football Club, i m telling myself this exact same message again.
Unfortunately there is no Arsene Wenger to lead us down here.

On a more personal note, things are nt very rosy between me n miss tan... maybe i thought too much, maybe she's under a lot of stress. But somehow, she thinks i m bad as a bf, which i think i must admit also, at times...

Somehow, u r still busy, even if u have no work to do. Weird...

2007-07-10T22:29:00.000+08:00

Commencement is great! Extremely proud to be a graduate from NUS. And somehow it's seems some sort of a home coming of some sorts, despite us only graduated like 1 or 2 months ago. Great to see all the faces and take pix with them. And to all my frens who take the trouble to turn up!

A BIG THANK U!!!

hahah...

Hopefully this is indeed a commencement into something worthwhile and enriching in e future...

Hurray

2007-05-30T08:39:00.000+08:00

Name : YAP WEI LOON,ALAN Matric No : U030066N
2006/2007 Sem 2 Examination for SOCIAL SCIENCES HONOURS

EC3311
Mathematical Economics I
A-

EC4102
Macroeconomic Analysis III
B+

EC4401
Honours Thesis
A-

MNO3313E
Topics In M & O: Negotiations And Mediation
S

CAP: 4.27(CAP computed is accurate based on progress & declaration made as at time of printing.)
Examination Status: 2ND CLASS HONOURS (UPPER)

In the end, it was all about worrying for nothing. Everything is being settled, and i am going to a trip on Hong Kong, without having to worry about anything, despite earlier apprehensions about getting screwed up grades and not getting a good job. AL'as everything is settled, and i am ready to progress onto the next phase of my life. Life cannot be more wonderful.

However, i know that i am capable of better results. But alan, being alan, has no incentive to put in hard work for this semester. And surprisingly, for the 1st time in 4 years, 3 professors actually remarked that i didn't put in enough effort, and 2 of them had know me at least 2 years. That is a remarkable testimonial to how much i've slowed down this semester. Needing a new challenge to keep the passion alive, i guess...

Results.

2007-05-24T13:03:00.000+08:00

Basically results out tomolo... Basically if i dun fail any subjects, i will be on my way to be working in a position which is really directly related to economics, and hence fufiling the ambition i had when i first decide to study economics, and not engineering.

Hoping for some form of closure tomolo...

A positive one though.

SMP

2007-05-24T12:26:00.000+08:00

And what does SMP stands for?
Student Mentoring Program.
Guess without darryl, my life might just be a bit different after NUS.
I still remember the 1st year when i am in NUS. Basically, i just go to school and go back home, hoping to go to Changkat CC immediately to play ball after school. How different it is 3 years from then. Without SMP, i will probably be a bit friendless in NUS. ;)

Without darryl, i will probably have lots of apprehensions about volunteering, since the first question that came to my mind is that, will i as a mentor lead my mentees astray? Fortunately the answer is NO, otherwise i won't be down here blogging about SMP.

And of course are the many many frens i've make in SMP. It's so fun with them. No need to discuss homework, school work or whatsoever shit. It's having fun and being yourself most of the time. That's what's happen when a group of like minded people are together. Can't really describe the fun over here, but being part of the camp crew is really great with all those bonding and stuff.

However SMP has really run its course for now. Nine years since it's inception. Hoping that our friendship is strong enuff to withstand many many more nine years together....

Uncle A

2007-05-09T10:47:00.000+08:00

Been a very very very long time since i last post. Just to clarify somethings, my job is a contigency offer, that is, if i don't get the desired results, or if i fail the medical, everything will go back to square 1.
Anyway, thanks to the super funny karen , shuqi, darr and MC, the trip to malaysia was GREAT and FUNNY!
Funny? hahha
damn funny.
Because karen was super good at cracking blah blah jokes and MC was super super lame.
(Not to mention shuqi was a great host, and the mahjong was absolutely hilarious... If play money sure kana sabo by the novices. haha)

Thank you dear again. I think i really miss you, because of recent happenings. I think you are the best that can actually happen to me. Sweet, kind, gentle, considerate. Nope, i am never going to leave you dear. Whatever your choice is, i will be there somewhere supporting you and loving you.

Final Examinations

2007-04-26T09:56:00.000+08:00

This time, it's real!
It's the final examinations. Read FINAL...
Not without getting past Basant's module first.
No more. The promised land is near.
Been putting in B efforts for a lot of stuff, and the last thing i need today is a major screw up.
On the whole, life's has been very beautiful to me. Of course, i had my fair share of ups and downs, but really praying that all the things will turn out well...

Well, it's supposed to :)

when you hit rock bottom, the only way is up... I hope

2007-03-05T23:54:00.002+08:00

Thesis is going on not quite smoothly, but i do hope i can complete it on time, really... There's almost 200+ responses right now, so hopefully i can finish it, after really hitting rock bottom almost 2 weeks ago.

How to get married? I just attended a wedding of a good friend of mine, and manage to help her out a bit in the wedding. Feeling quite satisfied, but do feel a bit shocked when i try to calcualte the price of getting married using the values i got from her. And here goes...

Photographs and Gowns : $7000
Wedding Dinner: $28000 for about 30 tables (conservative estimates)
New HDB Flat (w/ 10% down payment) + Renovation : $35000
Honeymoon : $5000
Miscellaneous: $5000

Which adds up to a grand total of $80000. Granted you do not have to settle the flat straight away and you get ang pows to cover part of the wedding expenses, this is still a very huge sum involved and certainly, if you are looking to get married, you ought to be worried, especially if you are jobless now (which is me)

Alternatively, you can go for the simpler version.

Photographs and Gowns: $7000
Wedding Dinner: $15000 (In some Restaurants in void decks and maybe having 15-20 tables only. And even cheaper, if you go for a malay styled reception.)
Live with Parents: No cost
Honeymoon: $5000
Miscellaneous: $5000

You do the maths, and probably you won't get a singaporean bride in the end. :)

If you earn a salary of $2500 and for some reason, your pay doesn't rise and taking home $2000 after CPF, you will need
1. 80 months or about 6.5 years to reach $80000 if you saved $1000 alone
2. 40 months or about 3.5 years to reach $80000 if you saved with your partner, provided your partner has a similar paying job, thus saving a combined $2000 dollars together.

Well, i am still jobless, meaning i will take infinity to reach that amount...

when you hit rock bottom, the only way is up... I hope

2007-03-05T23:54:00.001+08:00

Response to T.P.

2007-02-03T17:26:00.000+08:00

With a little more time and thinking, i figured out what's the importance of economics again... :)

Let me start with what is economics again really.
Because of the fact that the world has scarce resources, people need to face different opportunity costs and optimised according to their preferences in order to make a choice and attain maximum satisfaction. Economics is thus a study of how different agents aka people make their choices optimally if these agents are perfectly rational. (Which you and i do want to believe we are perfectly rational :) ). As such, most of the time, as TP says economics is really common sense at work. For example, Given a choice between time and money, what is your choice really? A perfect rational agent would go for a mixture of both, and everybody knows it. Is economics so simple then? It has far more implications to that and that's why people need to study economics. :)

1. Most importantly, not all agents are perfectly rational. I can't even lay claim to it. However the way rational people choose does give an insight to how a economy make its choices rationally at a macro level. The law of large number states that individual's mistakes tend to cancel out, with a huge population. (Provided the population is rational in general).

2. If you are given a choice to choose between different combinations of time and money, obviously economics is so much simple. However it doesn't end here for most of the case. Because of the fact that there is a regulatory body, namely the government. Even if you decide to sleep the whole day and achieve no money. You can be sure that the government will not want that to happen, and with it comes tools and policies to move people to a socially desired behavior. Government is thus a distortion to economic agents' will or choice. Generally economists are very interested to answer the implications or effects of such distortions.

3. What if the government don't intervene? Surely Economics will meet its end then? Haha... Wrong! If the government don't intervene, we will surely be looking at zero street lights, zero millitary defence and zero education. Everybody agrees the above mentioned things are useful. But nobody wants to pay for it or worst nobody might even want to go to school if given a choice. Economic freedom is thus undesirable, and government intervention is necessary. Then again, Economists are also very interested in how people's behavior can be distorted to achieve better social outcomes. :)

4. Last but not least, finding how individuals behave at a micro level, had a deep impact on the behaior of the economy at a macro level. As a macroeconomics enthusiast, i would like to point out that agents as a whole, can be fooled by the different distortions or can behave in manners that are unexpected or expected. What happens then? Not only at a macro scale. If you pay attention, you will find out that YOU are not optimising your life every single day. (For E.g. 8 hrs of sleep is good, but you probably decide to sleep for 5 hours because of an attempt to complete an assignment you could have completed earlier.) Like it or not, everyone of you is an economist out there, and the beauty of this discipline, is that it can be applied to any context.

Start optimising your life, guys and gals.

************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Never felt so empowered as before. Writing an essay (OH! I am NOT referring to this blog :)) with economic principles. I had the chance today, and no doubt i hope i will have it in the future, i had no illusions about my chances. Seriously hoping i wont be forgetting my economic principles, even if i choose a "not so economics" career.

Whatever, whatever, whatever. Doom to fail

2007-01-21T18:56:00.000+08:00

For whichever path the almighty one decides for me, i am definitely having a not so smooth time right now.
I dun really noe what i am going to do. After 25 years, can really solve my own problems? Or have i been living in own dreams, being too comfortable and do know how to survive, if i ever get to e real world.

Grades, education, the ability to think, i really think i have all these things with me right now. But for the path in the future? It just seems so lost. Work as an economist? Being an economist in charge of m y own life has never been this harder... Optimising between choices and choices, alternatives and alternatives... I am starting to doubt my own abilities, but of course, i can't let certain people know. For i am almost the most precious to them.

must snap out of this debacle, but i dunno how and dunno when i will be out of it...
May the almighty one be there to guide me, as always throughout my journey in life.... He has been there for me, almost everytime...

Project Superstar

2007-01-20T11:17:00.000+08:00

Haha...
This 2 gonna be my most favorite's videos of Project Superstar
Simply the Best...

1. http://youtube.com/watch?v=cImChTlt5DE
2. http://youtube.com/watch?v=R536uTGGO24&mode=related&search=

2007

2007-01-01T01:12:00.000+08:00

Better write all these down first before i forget... Happy 2007 or unhappy 2007? (Previous Post)
Anyway... If your HP digits end with these four digits, you know that you are in my list of very very good frens. I might had been performing the disappearing act for most of the times, but i suppose this is the best opportunity, to say again, how much you peeps mean to me. Don't worry, there are four of you, and all of you are all guys... in no particular order.

1. 0350
2. 0333
3. 7687
4. 6737

You peeps are really frens i want to keep for life...

Was in HG mall, just now, and the food there is really not bad. We had food in one of the restaurant down there, named Xiao Xuan Feng, courtesy of Yating who introduce this place to me. Really enjoyed the la mian there.

Was wondering if the both of us, are feeling stress from the environment around us. MOST of the times, it's really not only about the both of us... Which make certain things quite difficult. How wonderful if things are just about us only, and we can do whatever we wish to do, without really bothering how others will think. Of course, a host of reasons perhaps prevented that. But i suppose, the most imprtant reason should be one of RESPONSIBILITY.

You can do whatever you like, but ultimately, you still have to be responsible to the pple around you, especially those who are important to you. That is simply too difficult to ignore.

Happy 2007...

Can you believe it?

2006-12-31T12:56:00.000+08:00

Disbelief i guessed. Yup... Both me and my brother got pretty decent grades for the final, scoring 4.2 and 4.13 respectively, which is simply wonderful... This is my 7 consecutive semester scoring 4 and above, a record i must say, i am pretty happy with. Scoring 4 is never easy, and maintaining it, requires great consistency, especially, i am just your average guy next door, with no super brains.... But for my brother, he stood out, he really stood out. 8 hours spent per module per week, can anyone believe it? That's really pure hardwork. You gonna be respecting the sacrifices he had to go through to achieve this. Really happy for him, as his nick finally changed to "Finally see the light" from a despondent "Gloom and Doom"

Happy new year though, and do remember those who cant live to see the new year...
Of course, we will one day be like them... :p

As usual...

2006-12-25T22:54:00.000+08:00

Why the heading?
If one has been following this blog, it's quite inevitable to find out that i do pay a lot of attention to the kind of results i've been getting in NUS... And as with our rich NUS heritage and tradition of giving our results back to us during the festive season, i've decided to keep up with my tradition of blogging before the results are out. Not only it goes towards soothing me before i actually see my results, it also seeks to serve as a reflection of what i've done during the semester. Need this though... To reflect my time in NUS. After all this is going to be the 2nd last time i am going to blog about NUS modules again. Anyway, this is going to be the do or break semester... If i get past this semester, basically, i will be the most relaxed, carefree NUS Student next semester... Hahah
Here we go...

(Results were actually leaked to some of the students 2 weeks ago...)

Money & Banking...
Shandre wasn't a really very good lecturer, but of course what he lectures on is still very clear, partly because he's a singaporean... Probably the module i paid the least attention to untill the finals. Wasn't a difficult module in the end... but maybe that's what all students fear finally... The DREADED bell curve MAH! Hahhaha

International Economics....
Graphs, graphs and more graphs... That'sn what emily cremers taught us, together with all those useless tutorials... Wasn't exactly helpful for the finals... Paid attention for like 40% of the course... It was simply too difficult to follow for the rest of the course... But of course i dare say that this is the most well prepared module in the end... (Spend like 1 week in TP just to mug for this module...) And I really really thank the Power Above for blessing me again. If not for the MIRACULOUS intervention through Jack and the taxes example, i would had been screwed HORRIBLY.

Behavioral Economics
This is the Economics module that is the most important... Because it really did a good job in debunking the standard theories that we learnt as an EC major in NUS. It was difficult this module... And WWK wasn't especially an interesting Instructor. But as i say... this one of the most important EC module i've taken.... Nothing is absolute.. Nothing stays.... It was difficult... Wasn't really expecting a good grade for this...

Organisational Behavior...
B+? Perhaps and hopefully seriously.. The most fun and engaging module in NUS... With one of the best instructor, Jay in town, it was no wonder, the students enjoyed every single lesson, as well as remember all the concepts learn easily... Engaging Teaching... This is what it really works... really...

Contract theory...
Leaving my Biggest Cheers for Feng Ge... Without doubt he's the best instructor that i've come across in NUS...Simply the best... I was so confident in his teaching ability, that so much so that i've just enrolled into this module because he's the instructor, not even knowing what the module is about actually... That's how much i trust him, and he certainly didn't disappoint on this count... He really didn't and i am extremely grateful for all the effort into teaching this bunch of lousy economics students. He NEVER EVER gave up on us... That's of course is the most important attribute, i would think, for a teacher...Keeping my finger crossed for this module...

That's all folks... For my summary... In less than 8 hours time... In a different, but pleasant location, i will know what fate has in store for me... I await with abated breath...

I m lousy

2006-12-23T20:07:00.000+08:00

I m lousy...
I know that.
The more i think, the more i realise....
Yah right, i am lousy...
I can't get past a job interview...
I can't write a piece of decent resume...
I can't speak as well as others...
I know that...
I know that, And i don't really mind...
Everyone has his/her flaws right?
I suppose everyone can criticise me... Cos i know i am really not as good as i seems...
But of course, i need some encouragement as well... I suppose the everybody on this earth can don't give a damn about me... I don't really mind... But you should be the last person to gimme that.... I know you don't mean it... I know... But wouldn't it be better if you just gimme some encouragement???
Really lost now...

Alan's theory...

2006-12-22T10:39:00.000+08:00

Why do people work??? For various reasons???
"I need a new handphone"
"I want to achieve financial freedom"
"I want to provide a better life for my loved ones"
"I need a bigger flat/condo/bungalow"
"I don't want to eat rice everyday"

Of course, people work for various reasons, so as to provide specialised services in return for an income. SOme people don't like to grow rice, and some loves to grow rice. Some need a handphone while others don't. It's all thanks to Economics that we sometimes neglect the 2 most important reasons of working...

First is of course, the need to work, because you need to survive...On foood...
Second, perhaps is you have already fall in love with your work, which isn't really the theory in the standard model, which states that working provides disutility.

But because of the evolution of economics, we are now able to specialise, and not only work to produce food, so as to consume food. As the saying goes, the economics professor, work for food, by giving economics lectures.

My takeaway here is... No matter how specialised we are, we are still dependent on food and energy. And no matter what you are doing, we cant run away from the fact that we do need food to survive. Perhaps one day, Economics will fail, and we might return to the days of one working for the need of survival. Will we? We might be... Considering the meagre incomes of food producers world wide, and the obsession for education to beat the poverty trap, we might just be about to experience a form of revolution or uprisng from the food producers, if things continue to be this bad for the next few centuries. A pity, i wont be able to observe this phenomenon.
This fails on certain conditions...

1. The Government is benevolent to recognise this...
2. Technological improvements such that producing food is mass automated and taken out of humans hands. But that is not going to work. We are going to work for a dictator instead.
3. Finally, There is finally increasing marginal utility from producing food. The only way we should be exploring in the future, in my opinion...

Student Mentoring Program

2006-12-20T00:55:00.000+08:00

In short, the student mentoring program has always been known as SMP.
I am glad that i am a part of this wonderful program for the past 3 years. In addition to the different leadership skills learned from army, SmP has further introduce and hone that human touch in me. Though still not a great leader or some extremely compassionate guy, SmP has brought me to a stage that i never thought i would be in ever in my whole life. It has definitely made me a better person and a more confident chap than before. Even me myself marvel at the changes that i thought will never occur to me. :)

1. Friends galore. (Shuqi and Karen and Soon Tien joins the list, hahah) Better than most of the Economics mates i've known in NUS. Without these bunch of friends, i might just be another nerd residing in NUS. Or worse, become one of the many uncompassionate or fake persona in the EC department. At least these friends are really those who will stand by me. At least i know now.

2. For Piggy Jia and Paper Bottle, Thanks man... The 2 of you really CAP the list of best frens i have in SMP. The 2 of you must be the best things that happen to me in SMP. Throughout these days, we had still manage to keep in contact and treat other well. (Or not so well, considering after how you all treat me after the camp ;P)

3. Anyway, SCS and SMP had really changed me in how i look at things and how i deal with youths. It's so different from what i've imagined. Really different. Not all youths behave the same way as i do, and yet, what are the challenges facing them? And why is it so different from what i had faced in the past. It's a question that will never ever be answered. Only understanding helps.

Tiger Balm Kid is Back...

2006-12-13T13:09:00.000+08:00

Well Well Well... Any idea why that nick???

SmP camp has finally ended after 3 months of preparations. There will be no more passing of the baton in the sense that this is going to be the final Smp camp ever going to be held. It's a bit sad that the program has come to its end, and yet, i feel that maybe this is the time that i can actually take a short break from volunteering... Clearly, getting to know new people is not as easy as it once seems. The same old methods, the same old lines, and yet the hardest is actually getting to sustain the relationships. Saw quite few people back at camp but some how sustaining the relationship is not easy.

The activity that i was actually in charge of was Walls & Taps. It's a nice game, in my opinion.

And the following are the people i've worked with for the past few days.

1. Daniel: The CO of the whole camp. Need i say anything more? However, do find him a bit overconfident sometimes. Otherwise, really an SAF officer with the right leadership qualities.

2. WeiSiong: Boy man, this guy's a 1st class hons. Anyway, the Log IC and the tech man. Was the lieutenant behind the CO. Oh! and Philson also. Just wanna say thank you to you.

Sounds like an army camp huh? NO la...

3. Wenyi: Ended up planting chopsticks with her in West Coast... Hahah... Funny right? No... It's damn hot. Really feels like a farmer at that moment.

4. Soon Tien: This guy's a natural entertainer... The kids simply love him...

5. PeiJia & Shuqi: Thanks gals for accompanying me. Shuqi on the 2nd night before 3 am and peijia after 3am, but i was really sleepy then. Hahahah...

6. The night act crew: Jiaqing, Karen & Jiejun.
Hahaha... Jiaqing and Karen: The 2 of you are really the killer combo for laughters. HAHAHAH with a bit of lameness though by Jiaqing....

7. The Small Group Crew...
Yah right Dar: Wearing the same shirt again...
Christ: I wish i have mouths on my nose n ears as well!
TP: yay Yay Yay: Paiseh for suaning u la, but i guess u were really great company for the camp!

8. Maurice was really good with the kids as well, maybe that's something that the new birds gonna picked up. Did i miss anyone out other than melodee?? Didn't really talk to her, except knowing that she's in charge of the nice food for us from the 2nd day onwards... ;p

Well, all good things have to come to an end.. And these are the things that i really got to do now.. Have to do and Have to complete...

1. My Resume & Cover Letter by this week
2. My Thesis from next week together with surveys
3. Email Dr Wong, by next week
4. Trying to book chalet...

calm before the storm....

2006-11-26T15:12:00.000+08:00

Congrats Xtra09

this is going to be the final 7 papers i am going to be taking in NUS, no more probably...
as you all can see, i am supposedly quite calm and cool about it.
revision's done, and really looking forward to the exams in fact.
wont be really looking forward to screwing up in fact...

but this time the confidence is at least there as compared to last semester
n i m quietly confident that this time round, i have done enuff to get me through this semester with no major hiccups...

Despite the intense competition i faced...

wish me lucks ...

Thank You

2006-11-06T00:15:00.000+08:00

Thank You Dear... For all that you have done for me...
Suddenly, i really realise, how far we had come together although it doesn't really seem to be very long if you looked at the calendar....

Suddenly you made me realise how lucky i am and how much you mean to me...
Am i really someone good to you?
You really make me realise i can do much much more for you...
No matter what, i really love you...

When you do see this, remember why i blog on this day, and thanks for all the special memories and things that you had done for me...

I really appreciate it.....

For G League! For Ngee Ann

2006-11-03T23:45:00.000+08:00

Just had a wonderful dinner with a very very old friend...
If i am not wrong, i've know this friend for 17 years, and he is my 2nd friend that i've made and been in contact in terms of chronological order.

Again, lots of flashblacks to the past and the extremely carefree times we had back in ngee ann... Life was simply a breeze back then with the endless basketball and soccer each day back in NASS... Never is there a day we were really being bothered by studies or whatsoever, perhaps with the only exception being gals... Hahah

Anyway...

1. Basketball in Sec 1 and 2 ; We were almost INVINCIBLE
2. The G League begins... with the little Bobdog
3. Soccer and talent quest...
4. Timezone and Villa PArk
5. 2E against the Rest of the World

May all the memories be remembered....
All in all, members of the G League had already became legends in their own right...

1. Zidane
2. Van Nisterooy
3. Great Dane...
4. Even Lombardo gets a mention

Well, let the memories live on...
What's a lost cause? If we allow all these memories and legends to remain in our hearts, and allow it to be replicated and burning it with passion...

Will G League lives on??? Of course it will...
Will it be ever be replicated again??? Probably Not...

G League Members, i hope you all still remember who you are , and remember why is G League being named as G League...

GERMAN League of course ;p

Chinese Chess, Anyone????

2006-10-22T18:36:00.000+08:00

Am i being too impatient???
Maube i am...
But i really can't make it....

Can't make it
Can't make it...
And why am i again the one to cause all these stupid unhappy things?

Only make myself sianz and sianz sian

Thanks man

21st of october!

2006-10-21T22:35:00.000+08:00

It's been a really long time since i last blogged and all those who have been following this blog, we are indeed very lucky to have Miss Tan with me today!

xtra09: how are you Ms Tan

Ms Tan groans....

xtra09: why???

Ms Tan kept on laughing...

xtra09 kept typing away...

Still no reply????

I see... That's all for today folks...

**************************************************************************************************

Anyway, Life's been really good to me... Been through 1/4 of my honours year, and hell i would say, i am still very much alive and still surviving. Not been with Ms Tan for as much as i like, but i don't really had much choice, really.

All these days, have been reaching home between 9 to 10, and with all the deadlines coming, i've never been ever so busy in my whole life. (Save for the Make A Wish Project which really suck the life out of me). Honours year had somehow brought a fren closer to me, which i somehow think that it might be otherwise possible. (Ms Tan pats my head at this juncture ; so sweet!). That fren is JackAss, and boy, i think without him, life would be so much boring in EC Dept...

Been more than 2 weeks since i last touched a basketball....(Actually it's very much to do with Miss Tan though, as i 've been spending whatever limited time with her, maybe except SUNDAYS.)
Been more than 3 weeks since i last saw my best friends. (But i just met ZY on the train 2 days ago hahah and WG not long ago.)
Been more than a month since i last ran (although i ran this evening...)

Still surviving i guess...

Any last words Miss Tan??

Yah...
She threathened to K me...
So long.....

Stress and Shag

2006-09-18T22:02:00.001+08:00

Very tired now...
Year 4 is really a killer, with so many many difficult stuff...
Think i am already working hard, and it always doesn;t seem enough.
No doubt this is the most difficult semester to date. On the other hand, the end is near, and feel very excited at the opportunities available to me.

Suddenly wish that i am really going into teaching.
It's gonna be inspiring than thinking of how to extract $$ out of somebody's purse in the financial sector.

Frustrating...?

2006-08-19T11:01:00.000+08:00

Mon: My stupid Leg and 1st day of school limping...

Tues: My stupid Leg and 2nd day of limping...

Wed:
1.Finally get to see a Chinese Sinseh and got my 1st break while watching click
2. But Funny is The frustrating week started just after the plate of hokkien mee opp Century Square

Thurs:
1. My stupid Leg and my basketball team. More tirning stuff at night... But glad that it was resolved.
2. Thanks Derek for makin it bearable... Hasn't been smiling ;)

Fri: My bball team... The relief came in the form of my MNO lesson... Funny guy man...
I mean the lecturer.
Sleep at 2am though.... Y? I don't know how, but to reassure my brother is difficult... But his fears is indeed very real and i hope i've done enough to make sure he's on the right track

Sat:? The saga continues............. And i still can't play for my team...

I don't know, i also really dunno... I do not have all the answers, somehow, i am always answering questions from a lot of people... Not yet a crisis, but i hope whatever i've said, done wont have some serious repercussions on me or any of the guys involved... I do not want to... But somehow when people around me starts to get weak, i keep telling myself i have to be sturdy and strong...

Will continue...

Glum

2006-08-17T00:02:00.000+08:00

Really Glum
School started, but i haven't been smiling and laughing as much as i can...

Leg's crocked...
Studies getting really difficult...
Getting some personal worries...(Whatever whatever)

ALready feeling down even without working yet...
Powerful man, alan...

See how u going to ride this out...
DUN tell me that i can ride this out... Cos i really dunno what will happen in the future...
Nobody knows, and there even is an exact answer to what i supposedly thought there is...

Dun understand???
Never mind...
Dun Understand lor....

2006-08-12T17:23:00.000+08:00

Whenever, i hear singaporean national day song...
It us manage to stir up whatever patriotic feelings that were inside my heart.

This national day prove to be no exception, except that i didn't manage to hear the medelley of naional day songs.

But what i heard was xiao ren wu de xin sheng loosely translated as voices of the everyday man.

That struck something instead...

For all those who listened to this song before, can't help wondering what is the motive of the song, which touch on the blessings of being an unimportant person, with no major worries and all those kind of stuff... Somehow the song manage to propangate that one should be happier being an unknown, and best still, don't even need to try to bother major affairs. Leave it to the VIPs please...

Howver 2 points to take note though...

1. Are we being happy that all major decisions regarding affairs of say, the state are being taken out of our own hands? Do we have a choice? Do we really need only George Yeo to negotiate the FTAs on behalf for Singapore? In actual Fact, i think the answer is no. In this new world, obviously nobody is indispensable...

2. Do the everyday man on the streets had no wories of his own? he does has worries... Loans of his flat, his children's education... His Career? His Family... Would all these be solved by $$ alone? Probably not but having $$ does help to a certain extent...

And Should we all strive to be the everyday man down there???

Rants

2006-07-27T21:57:00.000+08:00

Hahah...

All because of this stupid Indian Auntie...

Was with Miss Tan and her friend waiting for a cab...

And so it seems... Damn difficult to get one...
So when the 1st one came, Miss Tan's friend board it and off she is to Yishun...
Obviously we didn't board it since we are on our way to Tampines...
And thus we waited at the same position for the next available cab...

Then this indian lady, who was standing behind us came over and accuse us of unfair tactics that we are hogging the cabs and not let her flagging the next available cab...
HAhahaha
So funny...
Dumb man...
Who wouldn't board the cab together in 3s if we are going to the same place?
So what if we are not taking the same cab....

I can understand if you ask politely to let you have the next cab if you are busy...
Haha...
But accusing one of unfair tactics...
Let's just say that i had a wonderful time smiling at her and making lookin bewildered with my comment ;p

How????
4 million smiles?
Looks like cannot make it man...
Unless you count me simling when i was commenting on my own unfair tactics to her...

Soon...

2006-07-18T17:42:00.000+08:00

School's starting soon, and work's ending soon...
Time really passes very fast, and before all you people know it...
It's gonna be the working life that will beckons all of us in the next coming few months...

1. Thinking of a good career
2. Thinking of being together with the woman i love
3. Thinking of a happy family
4. Thinking of running and playing basketball all day

Just these 4 things, and i can tell you there are already a lot of contradictions...
Is contradictions the right word?

Somehow...
OCBC brought me another side that i haveen't got time to discover about myself...
Somehow, being an adult in Singapore is not that easy...
I will prevail though...
Not necessary earning big bucks or what
But to be satisfied if the opportunity arises...

Just got towork hard to realised all the dreams i have...
Somehow feeling better than all the previous years...
Might not be still as confident, but definitely not as pessimisti as before...

Life is Beautiful...
Not only because of happy things, but also looking back at the different struggles 1 have to overcome ;)

I am Alan and a Singaporean

2006-07-08T09:16:00.000+08:00

Mr Brown's Column was suspended, and this came as a big big surprise surprise to me...
Is this part of a clampdown that was directed to Mr Brown who had makde light of a lot of things ever since the hustings during the elections> But one thing for sure, this move hadn't make the government many friends, judging from the response in Brown's site.

Let's support Brown, if you happen to be one of the frequent visitors of his site... Judging by his response, i do feel sorry for him...

(May he be like Germany then! Full of fighting spirit....)

Over the past week, met up with my Nass Peeps as well as Darryl and Tp...(And where are u, PJ!?)

Not Bad for a working life...
Working life is really draining than NUS, but then again, we shouldn't complain, because we are really being compensated by the wages that we received... Oh i thoroughly enjoy the experience as well...

There and then, Thank you for being with me... It's been a wonderful period for me and i reckon, for the both of us... Especially the encouraging words...

I am born in 1982,
I go by the nick that nobody exactly wants.
I once lived in the place named after an old tree, and that was the best place i ever lived.
I had an happy family and an arguably brilliant group of friends...
I am Part of Supa... ;)
I met her not too long ago, Finally...
I love the place that i was born into and lived for the past 24 years
and i am a Singaporean

PS: i am sure Mr Brown loves his country too...
That alone is more important than anything in trying to defend or support any political party in Singapore...

Let's stand in a line...

2006-06-13T19:48:00.000+08:00

Hasn't really been blogging...
But just want to tell all that comes here... It feel jus great to stand for what you believe in...
isn't it?

This was the conclusion after watching X men...
After the major disaster, it's time to fight, really...
2 more semesters and a new phase will begin...

Numb...

2006-05-24T23:21:00.000+08:00

Seriously don't really feel a thing right now...
Maybe i will be tense up tomorrow,
Maybe i will be worried tomorrow.
But now...
I am more worried about my future than results tomorrow...
Nevertheless, i will cross my fingers... And hope everything goes well

4's still the number...

Learning real slowly... Can i survive???

2006-05-15T21:11:00.000+08:00

I've been really picking up things very very very very slowly...
And i think i've been screwing up at whatever i've been doing... Be it at work or at play...
Dunno why keep on screwung up... It's been a long time since i felt so lousy...
Now my face is that of a nervous one and one which lacks confidence...
Think this is the place where i can seek some solace by spelling it out....

Got to buck up.... I certainly dun wan pple to think i m a good for nothing....
I know i am not...
Unfortunately things jus sort of screw up
haha

Work is Good

2006-05-14T18:59:00.000+08:00

This is, i think one of the rare moments where i see economics in action. But when the crunch comes, i have to say that, whatever i've learnt in school all seems to be too theoreotical, and lagely useless to a certain extent, of course unless one can apply whatever been taught in school in the everchanging world there in a matter of few moments.. Otherwise, the financial world is really spiralling too fast to apply any real useful and meaningful concepts...

Of course, this is where brains come in... Now i really marvel at the brilliance of the so called leading economists... Statistical regression and all those nonsense... I can safely say, the real world had no time for all these nonsense... Now u noe why professors need come up rith theories to explained what had happened with previous data... The genius actually lies in predicting to a certain extent what will happen... nd i dare say, the pple down at my workplace though are trained in the financial sector, but i dun think they will use any sophiscated methods or whatsoever. Likewise, i will hope to achieve such proficiency in the discipline that i've choosen in.
Simply Marvellous...

Life is really short... Treasure those whom u will like to treasure, guys...
Laugh and make merry for as much as u can, cos there really isn't enuff time to feel down and out
;P

2006-05-02T19:04:00.000+08:00

Dating Strengths	Dating Weaknesses
1. Open-Mindedness - 72.7% 2. Optimism - 71.4% 3. Kindness - 63.6% 4. Flirtiness - 62.5% 5. Generosity - 60%	1. Appearance - 88.9% 2. Lack of Essentials - 58.3% 3. Insecurity - 53.8%

Dating Strengths Explained
Open-Mindedness - You are open to trying new things and entertaining new ideas, and this widens your pool of available girls. Optimism - People are drawn to your positive outlook. Your optimism attracts others to you. Kindness - You treat other people with empathy and goodwill. This positive trait helps you stand out and draw people into your warmth. Flirtiness - Flirting is a good way to break the ice, and you are a pro at it. Being flirtatious will open up many dating opportunities. Generosity - You are a giving person by nature. Others will see this quality in you and recognize your kind nature. Take care not to let others take advantage of you.
Dating Weaknesses Explained
Appearance - Devoting a greater effort at making good first impressions is a must. Try to be fit and develop a style if you want to catch a girl's attention. Lack of Essentials - Dating is difficult for you because you lack certain key things, which may include private space, a car, money, or a nice wardrobe. Work toward obtaining these essentials! Insecurity - Your insecurity makes you doubt yourself, but you must learn to love and trust yourself if you want to succeed in dating.
Dating Strengths and Weaknesses Quiz by Dating Diversions

Disaster

2006-05-02T18:46:00.000+08:00

Think this is the most disastrous outing so far...
It really ranks right up there with M.A. screw up, 2 more days of screwing up, i guess...
This really isn't going my way...
Dunno if luck is finally running out for me...

On the other hand...
The Prosperity & Progress party just wouldn't give up... I think we should hear some serious issues, seriously... After all the Party's only 9 days long... Will they still harp on it after the Party's over? We will see...
However, The Democratic group of Singapore is going to get it after the party...
Haha... Best of luck to them...

Willie Tan's module next...
I hope to stop the rot...

Pre Exams Manifesto...

2006-04-13T18:51:00.000+08:00

Anything better than 3Bs, 1A and 1A- will be very welcoming...
Nothing much i will ask for, seriously, as i am in my final leg of my academic journey...
Maintaining is the Key...
No need for 3As or 2B+ or something like this...
Keep it simple...
That's what i've done so far to deserve this...
1st class is beyond my reach...
2nd upper is for me to throw it away...
Let's just hope i don't throw it away then :)

Team Supa

2006-04-10T23:33:00.000+08:00

Now u noe y we like to play basketball huh???

Let me 1st pay tribute to team supa... Our fairy tale finally came to an end tonight...
Yet we were really irrepressible... Despite down for all the quarters... We managed to finish real strong, and we should have deserved an xtra period to put things right... Yet... The end has come.. Our spirit was really sky high, and we never gave up.. Kept cheering n shouting Supa at every break... It's really my best team ever...
What more can i ask for???

1. Shaq...
It's because of him that we come thus far... the manager of e team...

2. Darren...
Cool dude... that said... The engine of the team...

3. Darryl...
He saved us... on countless occasions, yet tonight wasn't really his night...

4. Kenneth...
The guy who keep boasting... Credit to him, he never gave up...

5. Ah Lim
The monkey god was rusty, but his enthusiasm never was!

6. Kein
1st match with us... n he couldn't take it that we jus lost!

7. Zhong Yang...
The best supporting actor and utility man...

8. Victor...
Great motivator... n great 3!

9. Bernard...
Wasn't that great on his first outing, but this guy here really improve by leaps n bound every minute...

10. Kian Sing...
Bench? No problem... He never gave up cheering...

Credits to Alan n Ronald n Vincent....
Xtra09 is really really grateful for such wonderful teammates...
SO what if we r not skillful enough, Our spirit could have jus got us fighting on all fronts...
Let the spirit of Supa be immortalised forever in out hearts, forever...

No need to worry... It's normal to have ups and downs

2006-04-10T15:37:00.000+08:00

An assuring statement...
That speaks volume...

Cocky or zai???
Verdict will be out soon...
Dunno what to do though...
To the best of my ability, hopefully...

end of the 2nd year....

2006-04-06T08:42:00.000+08:00

Smp has come to an end once again...
It was disappointing, barring the new mentors...
And i did one oustanding thing in this year and that is to dilute the relationship i started in my 1st mentoring journey, and not establishing anything worthwhile in the 2nd.

I left early yesterday, and as i walk towards the gate of Yuan Ching, memories flood my mind. Surely, this is the final journey as a mentor. Surely, there's m uch more things that could be done. Surely, i will miss this place together with the students in there. However, the wheel of time will just keep turning mercilessly.

Calvin and Zhongrong have really grow up... Really... I guess to be fine young men. As for ah hao, didn't even manage to see him yesterday... For Jian Kang, That's it man... THis boy gotta be less stubborn and realise the world doesn't revovlve around him. Hakimi wise, he's doing great, but he doesn't make the mistakes that most boys of his ethnic group make, and that is to study early... that simply jus wont improve his life chances at all...

After all...
My job is done...
For the 2nd time in a role, I am a mentor no more... :)

Why isn't my lifepath number 9?

2006-04-03T12:51:00.000+08:00

***Your Life Path Number is 3***
Your purpose in life is to express your unique self.
You are a creative and artistic person with an interesting view on life.Witty and outgoing, you enjoy sharing your crazy ideas with anyone who will listen.A total social butterfly, you're the life of any party.
In love, you inspire and enchant your partner. You are often an object of fantasy and desire.
While you are very talented, you sometimes lack the ambition to put your talents in play.And while your wit carries you a long way, you occasionally use it to mask your true feelings.Your natural abilities can bring you all the success in the world ... if you let them
What Is Your Life Path Number?http://www.blogthings.com/whatisyourlifepathnumberquiz/

Why isn't my lifepath number 9?

2006-04-03T12:25:00.000+08:00

yoz yoz yoz

2006-03-30T08:28:00.000+08:00

Talking to Jackass really helps, i guess...
We were almost of the same calibre, and having the same apprehensions about our not so bright future. Uncertainty, that's the word, and Jackass really wouldn't ming being a screw up Englist Teacher, becaquse of the stability it provided...

But, i've passed up that chance...
Maybe they don't find me suitable, but i am definitely not willing to teach something i dislike... Think that would be a career suicide...

It's really good to let out all the apprehensions and frustrations out to someone who is experiencing the same thing.

However, that said, i feel that things had come one full circle... Though i still yearn for one stable life, i am now much more equiped to carry on fighting... After all that option is unavailable anymore, and if i am giving up now, that's it man....

"Take him on..."

2006-03-23T23:08:00.000+08:00

Well, we were a good match for the opposition isn't it?
Team Supa makes it...
As usual we won our 1st match.. And we got our free jerseys for an hour's work...
Me? Maybe for 3mins work... Anyway...

Just wanna let it it all out...
Why can't i be as carefree as her?
Why am i always like that...
I think i know the answer... Somehow, i just couldn't leave her. I am really fighting with my inner devils right now. Can i see her just one more time?
Somehow or rather, i am blogging more.
Just couldn't leave her, and i think i am getting mad...

Team Supa was brilliant, and yet, there is little joy in me... For the 1st time, i can feel the drecreasing importance of basketball in my life... Was really wishing to fly to C.Q. then... Though i am quite useless on the court... There's really little joy. I wish to be with her... really...

Maybe it's just getting too much for my own good, after 4 months...

Challenges Ahead...

2006-03-19T22:33:00.000+08:00

Right now... One Consumer Behavior Project, One Consumer Behavior Test... And One FInancial Tutorial...

However

In the long term...
To hell with the Navy Advertisment abount Nick's life... I would rather lead a life which is stable rather than experiencing upheavals every now and then...
And a stable life constitutes not having to worry about bread and Butter issues...
Enjoying my job to be...
The time to pursue what i want, including enjoying the wind blowing at my face...
Life's beautiful now... Can i jus keep it the way as it is now?
To be with dear...
March 19th... A special Day...

Super sore...

2006-03-07T21:02:00.000+08:00

Guess it's time to be back...
Life's been so smooth sailing and nice to me, that i've slipped into comfort over the past few weeks... However reality can be really harsh, if one stays inside his comfort zone, unchecked for too long.

Super sore, Head jus couldn't stop hurting...
Dunno what's wrong with me, and there's like so much things to do nowadays
Talking about dreams... Do not get me wrong, i will definitely encourage anybody to follow his heart...
But i did a reality check and i m glad that i actually took the chance...
However all this could change in the near future... Should be responsible to all those around me, especially when it's so hard to realise it and there's such an lucrative opportunity out there. I mean lucrative. I do know about my limitations, and i realise i am finally never going to make it, given the strength of the field... It's better to be more realistic now, i guess... However, never give up till it's no longer possible...

Right now, i am really awed by the amount of talent in EC. Too bad, like me, i guess most of them, will be wasted talent at the end of the day... There just isn't enough places for all of us...

Wont be Crushed so easily...

2006-02-18T00:56:00.000+08:00

I have to regain the seige mentality fast
I wont be crushed so easily
Been living in blissfulness, that i might have forgotten how to fight...
Mustn't lose that instinct of course...
3 mid terms to test myself...
Everything been smooth sailin so far...
Thanks to dear...

It's now time to fight...

Or never...

Fateful Day...

2006-02-02T22:04:00.000+08:00

This is my closest brush with death in my 24years of life...
I will not forget what happen today...
I even went to pray today for fear of Fan Tai Shui before the debacle...
And who knows, that might had save my life...
I was left trembling after the whole debacle...
I left to reflect, and how easily i had affect my whole family, relatives included...
I thought of the ones i love, and i thought of Dear...

I love you all

Till then, i will never know when i will have the courage to attempt again...

27/01

2006-01-28T12:36:00.000+08:00

"It's my birthday....
An unbelivable Bday...
And i Thank You for that...
No Matter what it takes... I am always there for you...
I just want you to be happy..."

Thank you evrybody for remembering my Bday...
I am touched... esp those whom i thought had forgotten or don't know when My Bday is...

Tampines Street 11

2006-01-27T00:43:00.000+08:00

Gonna be the first New Year outside Street 11 for the first time in my life...

Couldn't resist the chance to take a walk round the Round Market as i got a chance to go back to St 11 on the eve of CNY's eve... Although the place is new... But nothing much changes, not at least the feel of the place...

Flowers Stalls, Joss Sticks and a host lot of New Year Stuff... Not to forget the people and the vibrancy at the coffeeshop... Just sort of make me feel.... speechless...

Thanks to the BBall Guys for such a nice gesture... But somehow, i find it very difficult to accept it.... So sorry, for BBall pple if u all are reading it....

Thank You very much Guys....

Thanks to Tp n Pj(That's a very very nice CARD!) for making such a day special to me... The cake was quite nice though, and it's been a really really long time since we last sit down together and talk for such a long time... Really miss the days and times... Too bad that our time table just couldn't coincide with each other.... Hahah... Now we gonna stick to Even Fridays... Like tutorials huh????

Once again, Thank You Ladies....

1000 dollars....

2006-01-13T11:33:00.000+08:00

And you know what?
They are going to charge for the music placed on the blogs and the personal websites... (Compass)
I cannot believe all this happening... It's simply ridiculous...
Imagine bloggers having to pay $1000 to license the music they are going to place on their blogs for a year... That sounds too good to be true for the COMPASS. Most of us out here are simply amateur and seeking for avenues to share our feelings... And they are cashing out of this very simple Hobby...
Nothing is free on this world huh?
We aren't gaining cash out of this whole business, and why must we pay?

The 2nd cycle of the year of the Dog...

2006-01-13T11:17:00.000+08:00

It wasn't untill recently that i finally realise i am turning 24....
The 2nd cycle of the year of the dog for me...
And sometimes, i feel do behave like a big kid, every now and then...
Anyway time for some recollections...
The 1st cycle, was barely memoable as a young kid... But the 2nd cycle holds more memories and nostalgia...

The Great Nass Days
Year 13 to 16 was spent in the great Ngee Ann Sec, where practically, we get to play every single day with our fellow mates, and didn't even had anything to think about... Perhaps the greatest worries lie in being caught by the authorities for our unlawful activities... However, after finally being caught, there didn't even exist any problems, perhaps except for 听海.

Forgettable Days in TPJC
Other than being part of the TPJC photography club, i guess, nothing non NASS was indeed memorable... Spent almost all of my time with the Ngee Ann Gang, so much so that i don't even have any very close friends from TPJC... However, i will remember the epic semi final and the disastrous final in our year 2.... The team was fantastic.. And it was one of our final chances of playing competitive ball then...

MRF Days
"Kapalah Juboh"
Hahah... Thank you MRF for Darryl and Mingcong... And of course the canteen breaks with Wenyao and Ah Huat... Fully Appreciate that... Oon too, for being the other chinese guy in HQ team, for cracking of silly crap... Heee...

NUS Days
Still ongoing... BUT it was much much more fun than being in TPJC, never have i thought that there would be a chance to make new good friends... 1.5 semesters more... And I will miss NUS... Though i have to add, the administrative body and system in NUS leaves much to be desired....

Jialat

2006-01-04T15:20:00.000+08:00

I jus managed to screw up my PC big time...
Got reprimanded by my mum as well...
Damn pissed...
If given a choice, i will never never attempt to TRY to fix MY PC again...
If you dunno a thing, try learning it...
Can... of course, provided you dun break it...
I am now suffering from the after effects of "breaking " it (without knowing it)...

Toall those wondering... i am blogging now from my aunt's place...
Nothing can pacify me, except the return of my PC... (which is under repairs right now)
IPPT this saturday.... and hopefully $200 follows as well... Otherwise i will be damn sianz...

Sch's gonna start, and 4 is still the magical number...

Rediscovering...

2005-12-28T18:29:00.000+08:00

Watching a movie alone is now no longer as fun as it's used to be...
I wonder if it's the movie that's not enjoyable, or is it just the company...
She was good company for the Chronicles of Narnia...
Whereas for Harry Potter, watching it all alone was not as fun as before...
Well, sort of miss Her during the show... I guess, nowadays, i would definitely prefer watching a show with Her than watching it alone... That, I am sure...

Anyway...

Back to Harry Potter...
I seriously think this is the worst of the 4 installments... Though, it's still quite enjoyable as compared to the average movies out there... But my expectations of the H.P. Series had been quite high ever since watching the mivies and reading the books... This current installment simply does not live up to its usual high standards...
Dun even like Dumbledore as he just doesn't seems like the one in the book... Anyway...
I caught H.P. on the very final day of its screening... And it left me sort of disappointed with the fare served...

Post Mortem

2005-12-21T23:07:00.000+08:00

2005/2006 Sem 1 Examination for ARTS AND SOCIAL SCIENCES 3

EC3304 ECONOMETRICS II
B+

EC3332 MONEY AND BANKING I
A

EC3351 PUBLIC FINANCE
A-

SC2216 EMOTIONS AND SOCIAL LIFE
B+

SW1101E
INTRODUCTION TO SOCIAL WORK
A-

CAP: 4.3

It's exceptionally good, that's all i can say..., though i would have expected an A for Public FInance, and an A- for econometrics 2. I guess it just sort of balanced it out, with the SC n SW modules scoring unexpectedly good. Luck played a big part, i have to admit.. I thought this sem was definitely screwed, especially the SW n SC modules together with Money and Banking. Money and Banking was one module that i didn't even do tutorials and didn't even start revising till 3/4 way into the course... Luck indeed played a big big part...

Am i doing alright?

Hahaha... Everything was alright... It's me as usual :)

Stay Tuned

2005-12-20T16:23:00.000+08:00

Back to the tradition of posting an entry before the release of the results tomorrow...
Surprisingly, i am quite relaxed about tomorrow as compared to the previous experiences...
Deep inside me, i knew that i've not been exactly up to scratch this semester. It's proving to be a difficult sem. No doubts, that i've been underestimating some of the modules, especially, Econometrics 2 and Public Finance in particular.

On the positive side, SW1101E and SC2216 was proving much more manageable than expected as compared to the start of the semester. Perhaps, this is the meaning of "You lose some, but u might win some too" Excited as usual... And by my standards...
4 is still the magical number...

Keeping my fingers crossed...
Stay Tuned for the post mortem... for all those interested

“你为什么要当医生？”

2005-12-08T15:07:00.000+08:00

“你为什么要当医生？”
1。 “因为我父亲也是个医生。。。。”
2。 “因为小时候，母亲病了，是医生细心的照料。她才康复。”

想到在<<白色巨塔>>的这一幕时，我的心就不停的在问自己。。。
人道底是不是往往都无从选择。即使选择了自己喜爱与尊敬的行业，却往往在茫茫无际的追逐中，忘了原本的宗旨与精神。

为何选择当个医生呢？原因可以很多，但最基本的条件不是想要尽心尽力去挽回每一条生命吗？
有一句话说的很对：医院是诊救病患的地方，不是权力斗争的地方。
假设照常理来说，学校可是学习，交流的学府。但又有真正几个人能做到这点呢？那么的潇洒与与世隔离的作法，至少，我就不能办到这一点。虽是说能尽心的去追求自己想主修的经济，本应开心，而该不顾一切的去享受这过程。但又有多少人能做的到这点呢？
最后，结果还是非常重要。因为一切，在怎么样，都有它的失与得。

我虽然现在不能这般的潇洒与洒脱，但我必须不断的提醒自己，不管做什么都好，最重要的一定要本着最基本，最原先的信念，去完成个自最初应该所办演的角色与使命。

“你喜欢读经济吗？”

想必这问题一点都不难回答，但是能不管在什么样的情况，无时无克的作到这点的话。。。
可能就须令当别论了。。。。

Back from the chalet...

2005-12-07T18:47:00.000+08:00

Hee... The chalet, was great! In my opinion...
Despite having a record number of only 2 Mentees, we had fun throughout the 2 days... I guess the group does have the potential to go far in terms of bonding with each other...

1. Philip was... "if you have a Bf..." Simply Uncontainable!
2. Geraldine was with her phobia of dogs... (Much Entertainment though :p)
3. Yingtong was !!!! wENT OFF TO JALAN KAYU W/O US HUH!
4. Gloria was the accomplice as well!
5. Shuqi and her brother... were hmm.. dunno what to say... Let's jus put it as the sister was good company, and her bro was a good WAITER! haha
6. Learnt Snails From Serena though :9
7. Siyuan... was Dead Circle! (Dun be fierce hor... :p)
8. Karen? Thanks for Sushi man.... ooPs... and Zhiyong for the claims :p!
9. Darry was a very very good company as usual....
10. Alan the mentee was simply great... hmm... a very nice mentee... whom i personally think should spend more time studying though...
11. Din get to talk much to Xin en and Lokemun though....

Didn't had any sleep at all though... before going off to see Ms Tan at the Expo...
Hahah,, and guess who i saw? CheeYong and Nanzhen who were taking the ACCA as well.
Well, NanZhen thought i was takin ACCA and asked me how is it?
What can i say?
"Hey! It's obviously an easy paper! Think i am gonna get full marks for it..."
Hee Hee... That's my reply to him... That's bullshit!

Went to have the Malan Ramen... Din seem very nice ramen... I thought i would had prefer Japanese Raman to that one instead... Orchard then back to Tamp again...
At the end of the day...
VERY TIRED...
Despite spending 1.5hrs of sleep in my Aunt's office in the afternoon...
(But then again... It's worth it...isn't it? Hee hee...)

Pls: Dun even noe what i m bloggin now... Think i am still in a state of trance :p)

Personality test? haha... Go try it out...

2005-12-01T22:04:00.000+08:00

Get to know yourself better
http://quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education: ]
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Winning the Battle, But Lost the War!

2005-12-01T21:18:00.000+08:00

This sounds simple...
Thanks to Darryl who called me just now... in rivervale mall when i was with my mum..

M: "So what's darryl doing in NUS?"
X: "Oh...He's majoring in Media."
M: "Is there a future in it? The industry seems quite small... Think's the pay not that good as well"
X:" Well.. Interest is more important."

That's it... This just set the stage for another heated discussion between interest and future... Say that i am still very idealistic or whatever... I really see no point in prursuing what you dun like for your so called future... This will definitely lead to regrets in the future...
Yah... Regrets in ur supposedly so called "Bright" Future huh?

That said..
I Might had been on trrack for a good honours degree... But that only is a battle won...
If ever my future is not up to whoever's expectations.. Then i might had jus won the battle but lost the whole bloody war...
I am not allowing that to happen.... I mustn't lose this war.. I mustn't let my mum have the chance for blasting me that i've made the wrong choice...
Even though... No matter how my Future looks like....

I HAVE NOT MADE THE WRONG CHOICE!

That jus sums up how determined i am ;), in proving her wrong!

The spirit of Changkat....

2005-11-26T21:36:00.000+08:00

Qin Quan aka Tong Xue remarked...
"Alan... looks like Lao Tian dun wan to let you play basketball today..."
How wrong he is...
Lao Tian wants to let me play.... But he wanted to only let me play after 6...
With the help of the spirit of Changkat though...

Victor first called me to enquired me about my availability... Of course..i can! What else can i do, if i am not spending time with vivien. Obviously, Basketball is the most natural choice of all.. hehee

But i had serious doubts though.. The floor was wet, and according to my 10 yrs of experience... We would be likely to end up jus shooting balls and bantering at most...

Surprise! Zhijian and Tong Xue were there as well!!! That makes 4! And a couple of calls later... The list looks like this...

1. Ban Kok aka The Killer (in Chinese)
2. The 114 brothers (Simon N Zhiwei)
3. Robert
4. KC
5. Shaq
6. Wei Jian
7. Bryan

That probably sums up how lifeless all of us are on a saturday night... Obviously follow up at the kopitiam till 1am in the morning.... Simply outstanding....

5 papers in 6 days...

2005-11-26T14:48:00.000+08:00

End of my 4th paper in 4 long days... and 1 more on mon
I am really not bad huh?
Still managed to survive till now... Hahhaa
But it's really a BIG BIG test of my endurance...
Cooped in Sk or Central Lib with no basketball and.... Cannot make it...
Been dependent on that odd Sms and phone calls to survive till now...
Cannot make it man...
Will you see this post?

Alan's off to a bad start...

2005-11-23T21:46:00.000+08:00

Money & Bankin was not good...
Think i m complacent...
Never expected THAT kind of questions.
My fate is no longer in my hands...
Ultimately, have to depend on the others to falter...
Angry at myself... Just couldn't nick maximum points as usual...
But will this time prove costly?
I dunno....
I've been managed to scrape through almost every semester...
Cannot really remember when was the last time i got 6 marks deducted immediately other than Macro 1 and Foundations for Econometrics. Labor Econs too... Where i got a B+
B+ is not good for me...
A- is the min. acceptable grade as usual...
WIll be keeping my fingers crossed... That this sem is no exception...

Surely....

2005-11-21T16:00:00.000+08:00

Felt a sense of relief as i reached sengkang....after 3 days spent in Tampines...
Slowly....But surely... I've been feeling it for Sengkang... as my home...

I won't know how to describe this feeling.... But tampines will always be a special place in my heart. But it's really moving too fast... If not for the 2.4km walk yesterday night(i won't forget the circumstances leading to that walk though, i really do not want to mention it here, but it brought us from the lib, to my fav. study corner, then back to safra), i wont even had felt the changes. In contrast... Sengkang... Changes had been captured.

Finally today signifys the end of the monumental effort to finish all my readings and lecture notes in preparation for my papers. It's either i thrashed them, or i will be thrashed. Hoping definitely, it's the former rather than the latter.

1 year....

2005-11-09T13:26:00.000+08:00

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Y.Y.
I am not an handsome or charismatic guy, i do admit. Neither am i witty or intelligent enough to really please the gal of my dreams. In addition i always in some classic boopers with the gal i like, that so much so, i already do no know how to tackle love again...

Familiar? Guys and Gals.... Welcome to the 1 year anniversary of my personal yet much publicised blog space. In this year, i've changed the name from Home of Xtra09 to I m Alan. And of course, much had changed ever since...A lot alot.

If you all will remember, or happen to read the Y.Y. post, it was the post that changed or rather, charted the course of 2005. I did say then it was very much a one sided affair then, i supposed it's still is now, albeit, it's not very much though :p

Yesterday was amazingly sweet and i shall hold it in my memory forever and ever... And this morning i've finally thought of a clever clever little idea :p Will need to gather my best friends to help me pull this stunt off though... And the unlucky guys are Wei Ge, Mc, the Goat & maybe Mr Yap! Never in my wildest dreams do i expect i will reach this stage of things with her. Well, if you guys are guessing....congratulate me then.. . This fool typing over here has not managed to win her heart yet.... :) But....Happy 4th year Anniversary!

Other than Y.Y. This is also the year that i will always remember for Piggy Jill. An ill fated, undeveloped and confusing relationship... However, much i have liked her then, i've decided against it on the night of the SMP appreciation ceremony. All i can do now is to hope that she leads an happy life, and be strong. It's been an exceptional year for both of us, and alot of mutual support was there to tide us over cisis over crisis. Well, However, pitiful or sad as it might be... Some things are just never meant to be...

Arsenal has finally managed to be back to their free flowing soccer play finally, inexplainably, i've always thought of my fate linking with the Highbury club ever since i supported them. Hopefully this will means that i am finally back to my best, or reaching my peak, at the end of this semester... I cannot afford to slip...No way... Even Arsene Wenger would not had approved of it then! :p

It's the end of yet another semester... It's been horrible, yet satisfying....Will be looking forward to another Great Result from xTrA09.....

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Awakening of the Giants...

2005-11-07T21:57:00.000+08:00

First of all.... A big Thank You to Sir Alex...
The belligerent manager finally had his day, after all the nonsense his old trafford boys had put up for him since last season. He looks really pitiful at times, but too bad... He still has to live with the likes of Rio, Ruud, and alan smith...

Next better PLAYER, JOSE... Well, you claim you weren't going after any records, but it just feel great to see Chelsea beaten in its 41st game.... Luckily Chelsea is not being beaten by a team of vouyeurs, otherwise Mourinho might just go and bang his head against the wall :p (Tongue firmly in cheek, of course!)

The Giants had finally woke up after a long long slumber. For the first time in this season, all the Giants, barring Chelsea, won!

1. I am Proud to say, Arsenal is back...for the moment at least...

2. Liverpool finally scored an away victory and scored more than 2 goals.

3. Newcastle is on a roll after 4 consecutive victories.

4. The biggest cheer, however, is reserved for Sir Alex and the Red Devils!

Now it's up to the rest of the premier league to put JOSE down...., Even if they don't, rest assured that the Awakened Giants will....

听海

2005-11-01T00:02:00.000+08:00

As i walk past "Chuan Guan Zi"this afternoon, the familiar voice and the tune of A mei's song too sang out long familiar memories as well. I was grinning, unexpectedly. Memories of the past looked so sweet and innocent then. No regrets, but i could have been more courageous then. What i could have done then, nobody knows.

写信告诉我今天海是么颜色
夜夜陪著你的海心情又如何

But one fact remains then, i am too timid, and really a useless bugger only capable of playing ball and performing on the court then. Sometimes i really wonder how she's doing right now. Jiajie was the one who realised who i had an eye for then, when i make the detour to the bus stop that she normally boarded instead of going to the one that i am suppose to be going. In the end my best buddy, Young Lee had to keep asking me to concentrate on the basketball instead of throwing glances at her during PE lesson then. Going to the food court in Tampines Mart with Young Lee was indeed borne out of an urge to see her again...and again...

我揪著一颗心
整夜都闭不了眼睛
为何你明明动了情
却又不靠近

It was the talent quest of 1998. Perhaps, no...It was the thailand trip of 1997 perhaps, when i was so impressed by her rendition of 值得, when she had to performed in the tour coach without any preparation. Or perhaps it's the song dedication then where she dedicatedA mei's "bad boy"...
Perhaps Perhaps....

听海哭的声音
叹息著谁又被伤了心却还不清醒
一定不是我至少我很静
可是泪水就连泪水也都不相信

Bloopers after bloopers.
The most glaring, perhaps was the one that i chased after her to the bus stop after being encouraged by the members of the g league, only to end up giving stupid excuses like" they asked me to" upon probing. Sinkai and Swee Long, too ploted the only movie to date i had with her then. "Armageddon" in fact was the one. Unfortunately though, I was too mesmerized by her to enjoy the show. My heart was beating wildly then, and the only thing that was really enjoyable was the song "I dun wan miss a thing" in the end..

听海哭的声音
这片海未免也太多情悲泣到天明
写封信给我就当最后约定
说你在离开我的时候
是怎样的心情

ok...sorry retracted...

2005-10-26T23:26:00.000+08:00

Wanted to say sorry to one of my good fren...You noe who you are and we sorted drifted away ever since i moved to Sengkang...i am not the only one juggling many balls...Yah i know that...
But i really miss you n the other guy...
Sianz... i cannot really lose my best frens...

Think i will be sad...
Yah...U r right, i dun need to say sorry...
Haha...
Hopefully.....

"Kapala Juboh" : Staff Munir...

2005-10-23T20:13:00.000+08:00

Was with her in Pasir Ris Park yesterday for some recreation n food. And guess whio i saw!?
It's the greatest staff sergeant of all time...
Staff Munir...(Ok...he's no staff right now)

Wow, how should i describe it? I was simply escatic and delirious... Well, ever since i've ORDed, i've not seen him, and what a nice gesture for him to roll down his windscreen and say hi to me!( Well, as she pointed out, Munir could just drove on without giving me a hoot). He was the one who really MRF into the force that it is now. Great! Though i am very sure there would be many who would disagree, but why should any of us care? He's take good care of us, and make us wear the MOPP suit with courage and pride. And most importantly, I've really matured being under him, and really understanding the meaning of responsibility.

"Simply for what we have preservered, the world does not know and it's not up to them to judge"
"Kapala Juboh!"

Guess Members of the MRF will always remember this....
Munir...You are the greatest leader i've ever worked with...

The Legend of Ngee Ann

2005-10-21T13:33:00.000+08:00

20 Oct to 21st oct...

As usual, i was at the starhub centre yesterday to walk her home from ACCA. (Of course, she was from Ngee Ann too) when i saw Chee Yong...That bloody boy, as according to "the goat" was that he decides to give up basketball with us for soccer in some faraway place. Damn... Well, i was quite pleased to see him, and tried to talk to him. Obviously i was too preoccupied (not by her!) by Public Finance and the whole idea of EXTERNALITIES! Anyway, hasn't got much time to talk to him before he scampered away. Real Disappointing.

On the way back to her place, surprise, surprise.... Zhi An shouted out to me along the way. This lad is a current Ngee Ann boy, who's superb ball playing skills had been extremely instrumental in bringing the past 3 Top 4 finishes to Ngee Ann Secondary. Well, i sort of lamented to him that with the introduction of the 5 day week in Ngee Ann, the old boys just couldn't make it back on the weekdays to play with them. What A Pity...

Obviously, it was enjoyable to be back in tampines with her as usual... Tampines don't seem to miss me though, with many subtle changes taking place slowly, day by day. The track getting its shape, and changes to TM. Well...too bad, i am no longer staying in Tampines.

However, this morning, i ran into Nicholas! A friend from Ngee Ann, i was going to school from Tampines MRT ( Well, i was staying with my aunt after sending her home :p). What had intended to be a sleeping session on the train quickly regenerated to a reminiscing session about the good old days. The evil plots plotted by the doctor, the victims, the one who claimed that he betted ONLY 50cents and was apprehended as well, the runaway cast as well, as the one that saw his future disintegrate away, as the years go by...(It suddenly dawned on me, what an evil epic we were part of then!) , but in the end we both had to agreed that those were the best days that we spent our lives in(The stupid G League sessions, the soccer sessions for even as short as 15minutes :) , as well as the daily ritual of copying homework.... No doubts about that, those were the days, that we don't even care what the damn world is...

As he left his seat in Tiong Bahru, His back was all that remains though... :-)

You are Beautiful......

2005-10-17T10:38:00.000+08:00

Well, captivated by her beauty, I have to admit…

Money & Banking test proves to be a Final Theory Driving Test in disguise. Absolutely a test of facts, and little analysis. It’s either you know or you dunno. Period. Let’s hope I m the latter rather than the former in this case. Haha…
Mid term wise, don’t think I’ve been screwing up badly, except for the Money and Banking Essay which I got a B. Think I’ve been satisfied with how the season is going to be and being shaped. Now it’s really getting prepared for the final dash across the line. After that, I will have a long long and enjoyable break. (Cannot make it man, already looking forward to break before exams :p)

Back to yesterday… So fun, I’ve enjoyed being in Tampines Mall with her! Or rather anywhere with her. She’s so gentle that I think it’s really my fortune to be able to be with her for the past 4 months. Hmm… It’s been 4 months already, and 3 months of bliss… Hope she takes care of her health though with work and studies taking a toil from what I’ve observed… L

Haha… Think I am too dependent on her already…

让我点首歌给你听吧

2005-10-12T22:30:00.000+08:00

记得那天你坐在我的面前
你的意愿很明显等我的表现
我说改天等我有足够时间
我一定给你一次完美爱情的宣言
多想抓紧每一瞬间
只怕故事已是昨天
才明白忽略是我最大的缺陷
我真的好想再说一次我爱你
我愿意放弃所有一切只为换回你
如果时间能够为你而倒流
真的好想牵著你的双手再说一次我爱你

回忆已经没有你在我面前
看什黱也会感到厌倦我闭上双眼
多想两个人盖一张被
一同刷牙一同洗脸
才明白错把机会
借给了明天
我真的好想再说一次我爱你
我愿意放弃所有一切只为换回你
逃避原来不是面对的道理
看清自己种下的可惜
重复後悔的延续喔

我真的好想再说一次我爱你
我愿意放弃所有有一切
只为换回你逃避原来不是面对的道理
看清自己种下的可惜重复後悔的延续
喔我真的好想再说一次我爱你
我愿意放弃所有

Rotten rotten week...

2005-10-09T23:06:00.000+08:00

What a rotten week... Blasted by my mum 7 days ago and my dad 6 days ago for not trying hard enough. I guess i deserve it at the end of the day...

I will never forget...and i shall not as well. It shall serves as a timely reminder tat studies is the most important right now. And focusing is the way to do things. I have to try...haha...

Anyway, what was so rotten 7 dats ago was quickly replaced by the trip with her that was so enjoyable yesterday night back in street 11. :p

7/9 = Fail Exams

2005-10-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

7/9 for econometrics seems to be a good score...isn't it?
Sadly, the fact isn't...i am among the lowest 20% in the class...what i can i do? Tell me please...
What a disastrous outing...i am dead, dunno what i can do to keep abreast with the chasing pack... i am really losing touch already...

i love you...

2005-09-21T10:47:00.000+08:00

Alan, alan, alan...
You are a fool...
I guess that's how i feel right now...
If ever things were like before last saturday, when i've already shut out all the expectations that i once had...after all, i have come to expect nothing from her prior to saturday... Unless, one counts those trips to the starhub centre and the weekend meetings as fufilling my expectations... Ok, it's me, being me, wanting to go down there. I couldn't control myself...
After all, i've enjoyd doing all these little things for her, and i am happy whenever she's happy...

I don't expect her to call me :)
I don't expect her to ask me out :)
I don't expect her to sms me :)

Why must i be such a fool to start expecting then?

Cos i've done sweet things for her?
Cos i've already express my love?
But love is not about equality.

Really foolish... Simply because, i felt that i've done what can be done? Maybe i am expecting too much :p
Is there anything still left undone? Maybe it's not about doing things then, granted feelings must be mutual in the end.

What is she expecting then?
What is she expecting then?
What is she unsure about?

Maybe she isn't ready yet, and maybe she' s still unsure...
Maybe i should just keep my expectations at the zero level, which i did for the huge part of july till september... So it's not going to be what i had wish for or visualize, but i just enjoyed looking at her this way...

The way she looks...
when she closes her eyes,
when she shakes her head,
when she smiles,
when she gives her mischievous answers...

I love you...
I still love you...
and yet I will not want you to be unhappy, rushed or unsure...
When will you start to love me back?
I will be waiting, no matter how long it takes...

Steady...

2005-09-19T00:21:00.000+08:00

Guys n gals...

Wish me luck...
Wish that it will take off!
:p

The conversation between Alan & Xtra09

2005-09-14T23:02:00.000+08:00

Alan(A): This time, i am really dead, i am losing my grip on the 5 modules, i've taken this sem...

Xtra09(X): Dun worry dude, i am sure you can do it... You've been doing it for the past 4 sems anyway

A: As if i could... 6 weeks gone n i haven even done a single thing yet... By the way i felt so happy when i stepped into changkat today on my way to tuition today... Happy and released...

X: Then go Changkat!

A: Unfortunately...i have a lot on my hands... I dun even think i can play ball this week anymore other than sunday... I really wan my old life back... 4 days of basketball per week

X: But time's up to you to manage anyway... It has always been you who said that! So what's the problem now...

A: I seriously think i m gone...unless, i m back at tampines n changkat i guess...

X: Alan...u r a loser...

A: I seriously hope i m not... but sometimes, cant help feeling like that...no doubts, my expections for me has always been very high... I cant afford to falter... It's been a long long time since i last faltered, i m afraid i simply haven't had enough in me to overcome disappointments and failed expectations...

X: Why can't you be like me?

A: Back when i am happy go lucky and xtra as before?

X: yah!

A: I m afraid i m losing that part of me...i m really afraid...

X: Pick yourself up then... There's no time to lose...

A: i shall pick myself up... But one thing remains...I will be pissed when i cant meet my expectations...

X: As you wish...Pissed doesn't mean you can do anything about it other than accepting it...

A: *shrugs*

X: *laughs*

PS: Alan was always the more serious character than the ever funny n xtra XTRA09... However, Mr Yap has nowadays been forgetting about his Xtra09...lately...and letting the doom and gloomy ALan taking over his life n perceptions... A balance of both is always the best...

End of a chapter in life...

2005-09-10T21:33:00.000+08:00

This is my final night blogging in my Tampines home...

Blk 138
Tampines Street 11
#03-120
Singapore 521138

Hasn't really got the time to walk Tampines one more time... These are some of the places that i will definitely miss... in order of the geographical distances from my place...

1. The Kopitiam: The Place where my weekends were spent... Beer, kopi, soccer and talk cock sessions...Wonderful place to while the night away. Company, is many a time, just a call away... Tampines Best Bah Chor Mee is also available here...only at night though :p

2. The Market: The old market is still undergoing the necessary renovations... Meanwhile the temporary market was simply not good enough... Though i will remember i spent the night together with Mr Yang yesterday...

3. Changkat CC: The home away from home... The timings are so regulated that you don't even have to call anyone if you need to play ball... Everybody just turns up when the time arrives... Was an excellent place for police and thief too... And also for some playing card activities... Ended my status as a resident of Tampines with a brilliant 3 point shot today...

4. Blk 934: This had become a favorite place of mine over the past few years... Whenever i walked past this place over the past few years, the heart will always be beating very fast.."Will i get to see her?" Haha....Nowadays, glad to have the chance to accompany home though...

5. Blk 933: My aunt's place, and also a home away from home... Once of the most relaxing place i will be at to simply unwind or do some serious thinking... Also a perfect place to be at while passing by Blk 934 ;P!!!

6. Ngee Ann Secondary: The greatest secondary school of all time... Place where i met a few of my best friends... Characters like YYL & CZY were integral parts of my life no doubts... Gleague, and the basketball team, and the Ngee Ann Derby... Whenever i stepped into Ngee Ann, overwhelming feelings would definitely be felt... So long Ngee Ann...

7. Study Corner under the void deck beside Tampines Mart: Best place to study.... Always a lot of things to keep me entertained other than the mundane books...Spent my O levels, A Levels, as well as my NUS studies there... Best...There's a mac there as well... I will always be armed with a big gulp and also the new paper to battle the boredom of books over there...

8. Tampines Mall: A place where 2 pieces of memories stood ouyt especially... The movies " Armageddon" and "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" are the 2 of the most wonderful memories... And of course the once popular bubble tea shop that is now defunct...

Alas, all good things have to come to an end though, and this chapter of my life in Tampines has come to a temporarily closure... I will be back... I shall be back...

Think It's a good day today...

2005-09-07T22:06:00.000+08:00

Ok...I think today is a good day.

Was at the foundation office for some tying up for the art exhibition. The exhibition was an event that make me see myself thoroughly as an individual. I am a really bad person i guess. Didn't really put in my maximum effort towards that and PJ was so inclined to do her best there. However, one thing i am sure, i was already too drained to do anything constructive there and then at teh exhibition itself. Morale was damn low then... One sentence sums it all...for me. If i loses the passion for something, it really seems hard for me to motivate myself. Had been slacking in the area of studies though...

Pj was with me today at the foundation office. I am glad that both her and eddy had turn the event to be a successful one. I guess without the 2 of them, the project might had jus crumbled.

Anyway, had a great afternoon with pj, talked abt almost everything under the sun. Anyway got some philosophical quotes from her other than her "有缘无需刻意". The most notable one was definitely "never believe in second chances,for one chance lost is a chance lost forever. " I shall remember this quote. Nothing i can do, i perceived then, when there could be something i could have done. ;P

But then again...Who knows? I just got a 2nd chance after 3 years. Strange how fate works..Really strange... It's now really very very hard to visualise what the future holds...

Ps:Just had a Great Discussion with alex...Phew...at least we manage to finish the econometrics tutorial finally. Now, I had to give my time to Emotions & Social Life & Social Work.

Reignited...

2005-09-02T18:13:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when basketball doesn't perform the trick...
Economics Does...
Unbelivable?

For the past 3 weeks also, yours truly wasn't really in a condition to attend school and to engage in some truly intellectual analysis or discussion or whatsoever. Tired...Fatigue, and a severe lack of focus were the main reasons. Seem to be disillusioned and totally UNINTERESTED in almost anything except Ms Tan...
ok... Dunno what to do actually. But seriously, fatigue is the main reason... No doubts... Didn't even play basketball much also...

Week 4...
Unbelivable. 2 tutorials within this week somehow or rather ignited my passion for some truly absorbing thinkings and the analytical inquring mind was at work again! I am not saying this is the return of some brilliant guy or what. Nope... The point i wanted to bring across, is at least, i am focusing on the my studies, or if you wish to put it, something i really like, once more. Just took some Public Finance and Econometrics 2 questions to reignite the biological engine again. UNBELIVABLE. It's going to be a tough old route from now on definitely, but at least...
I am finally awake from the slumber...

Enough of all these nonsense...

2005-09-01T23:18:00.000+08:00

Enough of all these nonsense...
i shall fight n fight n fight...
i will not allow my hard work in the past 4 semsters to go down to the drain...
Definitely not...
In a very defiant mode now...
I shall not fail, i will not fail, n i m not going to fail...

It's now time to concentrate n to focus... Anything less than a 4 will be deemed UNACCEPTABLE

Enough said...

Turmoil...

2005-08-26T16:38:00.000+08:00

What a joke...
What a joke...
What a joke...

心痛

2005-08-19T17:31:00.000+08:00

你总是这样说我
像一颗不容易溶化的糖果
带我见你的朋友
又很得意地埋怨我沈默

你追问我的行踪
你在乎我的举动
哄得我泪眼迷蒙
做些事情让我被感动

望著你突然一阵心痛
一次又一次任那感情放纵
你的脆弱让我走不开
你的依赖所以我存在

想著你还是想到心痛
期待我做的将来你都会懂
有一天真如我
有一天
但愿我还在你记忆中

我想我也无话可说, 无处可逃了.
我的喜怒哀乐已不知不觉中在这个女子的掌握之中.
不是并不知道我不应该这样做, 可是我的行动已不由自主.
原因非常简单. 我的心已随着这两个星期内, 随着每一次的相遇中, 慢慢的被掏走了.
此时, 我想我是幸福的. 因为现在还能时常在你身旁, 陪着你走着同样的路.
可是却又不只何时何刻开始, 会再感觉到心痛与无助.
不管将来会是怎样, 我是非常想把幸福与快乐带给你的.
虽不知道你现在的想法与感受, 但如我们真能共同走这条道路的话,一切都是值得的.
但如有一天,
想著你还是想到心痛
期待我做的将来你都会懂
有一天真如我
有一天
但愿我还在你记忆中

2005-08-17T15:40:00.000+08:00

haha...Speechless.

Let's see how it goes...

2005-08-17T15:27:00.000+08:00

Very fun...or is it very sweet...
It's just how it feels when you think of someone you like very much. Though she might not reciprocate in the same way as i do...I guess, at the end of the day, at least i will only be the one struggling...So it doesn't matter much after all...

Was at starhub centre again yesterday night, and it didn't seem any different from the previous nights as well. Well, at least i am happy to be there. The only reason i want to be there is to see her. and walk her home..and nothing else... This time, when i see her again coming out from the centre, I knew that this time round, i am really waiting for her... I really want to be with her...

Had my 1st dream of her yesterday night after a long hiatus... The dream was so sweet that i simply refuse to get out of bed this morning, much to the annoyance of my dad... If only i can make the dream comes true...

Logically speaking, it also depends on her as well, if she has the same feelings for me or not...

穷途末路

2005-08-09T00:25:00.000+08:00

Don't Know what to Do...Seems like end of the road... I know it's Not...But it feels like it...

1. Father Stress, Mother Stress, I am definitely stress as well...

2.. 4 mentees is definitely not simple...In fact, it is totally unfair to have so many metees.

3. Enough said about Make A Wish, Energy been sapped...

4. Played Daniel out...Simply no time and energy to finished the task he handed to me...I've Betrayed the trust place in me...

5. We seem to had taken the 1st steps... but i dunno how she is feeling rite now...

6. Econs lecture today... Not as motivated as before...Bogged down by too many many things...I certainly cant continue like this, Econs is supposedly to be my solace

7. Seriously miss basketball...Can i jus play a game please? Please?

Sch jus started, and i already seemed drained and lost...穷途末路...

Smile, Alan, Smile

2005-08-06T00:19:00.000+08:00

It's been almost a wekk since i last blogged. It's had been a physically and emotionally draining week. Work, Y4C, tuitions and research had taken a toil on me. On the emotional side, a gal and mother was always there to occupy my almost lifeless mind...

The week's had been very difficult for me. Trying hard, and giving up almost all kind of activities was extremely hard and i was simply not used to it... The smile and laughter was seldom there and not as forthcoming as before. I want my old life back, and yet as Derek says, "It's quite impossible." Is it really impossible? Maybe... Am i pushing myself too hard on the academic side as well as the in the people that i deal with? Maybe too...

I was quite worried for my mum, initially. Can she cope with it, if there is really a relapse? She put on a brave front, as i can see. We had all wanted to be there for her, but as certain things go, she still had to face certain things on her own. If fate has it, there's really no escaping from it.

On the emotional side of my life, i think i've been trying, but as i know and all of you out there know, certain things can't be rushed... Was glad again to meet up with her again after missing out on the mrt station on Tuesday. I thought things were slightly better then. I really think so...

I think i am really insecure now, as the to what the future holds. Giving up the Economic Research Job seems the best option, logically speaking. However, it also means that i had gave up a golden opportunity to really pursue what i always wanted. However, i've already committed myself to another year of mentoring, and it would be extremely unfair to pull out now... as i feel. I am giving up my research job. I know that i simply don't possess the ability to pull out any reports during term time at a short notice. I will have to talk to Daniel about it... I really don't have much of a choice, and i really hope he understands...I really know i can't do it.

Perhaps, over the past few weeks, with so much things looming, i had already started the path on self doubting my own abilities. Never in my whole of 23 years of life, did i really felt that i had absolutely no time on my hands... I simply don't have time for anything. And i know i am definitely not happy and in my own usual self. I knew it. The insecurity that had been shroudding me just seem to has grown even more... Yes, i am insecure, about almost everything... I knew that if i gave my best, there's already nothing i can do. Yet i simply don't like the sinking feeling that accompanys when i couldn't do something well... That's insecurity for you... I simply think too much...

Part 2

2005-07-28T00:18:00.000+08:00

It might mean something, but it should not mean anything at all. After all, as it was being said, "It's not meant to be depressing at all..." Somehow yet i feel...an undescrible feeling. Sweet yet distant.

Saturday was unexpected. I couldn't and i don't know how to reply. In the end i was not suppose to reply after all. Strangely, my mind was in a state of calm, not knowing what to expect. Sleep seems the best option, and i did..

What followed on Sunday morning and afternoon was a bit strange for me. Did I misunderstood the intentions or the meaning behind the messages? I didn't knew what was going on seriously. However, following an outburst, I thought i knew what had happen exactly. Did I? At least i thought i did. I tried to sound out the real purpose of the messages. Further messages probably confirmed what i was thinking, or so i thought...

That Sunday night was probably as much as was the longest time that we spoke to each other. It was confusing for me. I tried to speak up. Yah...In the end, i was a bit choked, and yet i blurted it all out. As expected, silence prevailed on the other end. And the message was clear enough...
"一切顺其自然"
Until then, pacing up and down around the void decks and the car parks couldn't be more fun. I stand a chance...Or so i thought...Once again, sleep seems to be a very suitable option, considering the turn of events. I couldn't...unfortunately...

Monday at work was disastrous... Smiling to myself...Frowning at myself....Thoughts running wild and distracted...Not exactly a brilliant start to the week...
"Don't think or imagine too much..."
How could i not? I was confused... messages was sent, and yet this time round, they were not as forthcoming, as i thought.
Confused...was the word of the day...

Finally, Tuesday arrived... I went out to meet her to walk her home... Frankly, i was happy and contented that i was given this chance...Did i appear to be over enthusiastic, or am i still keeping my cool. I really don't know...Waited and waited before i asked her about Sunday's episode. After another round of conversation below her place and in a position i will never forget...
"一切顺其自然" was again the message...

Maybe i am the one who is pushing too hard. But this time i think i really understand and I finally got the message clear... But yet again, these few days seem so different from what had transpired over the weekend. I am not imagining things... Feelings are difficult to explained... and i fully acknowledged that... But why was it so different again?

一切顺其自然 and i am going to follow that... I am following that... No worries...

有时候孤独可以寂寞
也可以是自由
能安慰自己的人比较容易快乐...

Cancelled....amazingly

2005-07-23T12:36:00.000+08:00

ya i am feeling super grumpy and grouchy. i hate having so much anticipation and excitement and being disappointed rite at e very last moment. felt like i slapped myself in e face by organsiing it and cancelling it.
- Miss Teoyat

Amazingly, the trip was cancelled at the very last minute, but I wasn't feeling as disappointed as teoyat, because, partially i didn't feel as much anticipated and excited as her in the very first place. No doubts, i am also looking forward to the trip, but from the way, i spoke with teoyat yesterday at Mac, i knew that i won't be that disappointed if these kind of things happen.

Had a very good sleep after the cancellation, and at the same time feeling sorry for teoyat. She was quite affected, it seems. And it makes me wonder what if Mr Who was here today also, will he be strong enough to go ahead with the trip? Mr Who and Teoyat, without a doubt, were 2 of the people i respected the most in YCSS 7th. Now, it seems, we got to wait for Mr Who. Hope he reads this post. Hasn't seen him online for ages already, and he's leaving us on september for a semester. From the way, teoyat wrote in her blog, i seriously hope she will be feeling better with time, and continue to be the secretary for YCSS 7th.

I do miss 7 alot...

I am Alan...

694 SIR

Very Very unlucky n Hokkien Post

经一事， 长一智

Updates

The Leap Years

Dogs Avoidance Tactics...

Heroes no more, welcome the legends...

Fundamental Shift...

The man has spoken...

Back again...

"We are still at the club, we are responsible for the club."

Hurray

Results.

SMP

Uncle A

Final Examinations

when you hit rock bottom, the only way is up... I hope

when you hit rock bottom, the only way is up... I hope

Response to T.P.

Whatever, whatever, whatever. Doom to fail

Project Superstar

2007

Can you believe it?

As usual...

I m lousy

Alan's theory...

Student Mentoring Program

Tiger Balm Kid is Back...

calm before the storm....

Thank You

For G League! For Ngee Ann

Chinese Chess, Anyone????

21st of october!

Stress and Shag

Frustrating...?

Glum

Rants

Soon...

I am Alan and a Singaporean

Let's stand in a line...

Numb...

Learning real slowly... Can i survive???

Work is Good

Disaster

Pre Exams Manifesto...

Team Supa

No need to worry... It's normal to have ups and downs

end of the 2nd year....

Why isn't my lifepath number 9?

Why isn't my lifepath number 9?

yoz yoz yoz

"Take him on..."

Challenges Ahead...

Super sore...

Wont be Crushed so easily...

Fateful Day...

27/01

Tampines Street 11

1000 dollars....

The 2nd cycle of the year of the Dog...

Jialat

Rediscovering...

Post Mortem

Stay Tuned

“你为什么要当医生？”

Back from the chalet...

Personality test? haha... Go try it out...

Winning the Battle, But Lost the War!

The spirit of Changkat....

5 papers in 6 days...

Alan's off to a bad start...

Surely....

1 year....

Awakening of the Giants...

听海

ok...sorry retracted...

"Kapala Juboh" : Staff Munir...

The Legend of Ngee Ann

You are Beautiful......

经一事，长一智